God Was Preparing Someone Special (Part III)
Even though God had assured me twice not to worry about my future marriage, I was still waiting and for a while, there didn’t seem to be anyone on the horizon.
Up until that point, there were two people in my life that emotionally I never had closure with. Even though it had been over a decade since I had seen either one of them, from time to time they would still cross my mind. Thoughts of what-if and what-could-have-been always weighed down my heart.
It was during this time of waiting that I unexpectedly had the opportunity to meet up with both of these people. One person was my crush from high school and we had lost contact for over ten years. I remember when we reconnected and finally met up again for lunch, I had a surprising realization: for way too long, I’ve been idolizing this person in my heart. Before I became a Christian, I didn’t think it was a problem to idolize a person— after all, everyone had movie star idols; however, after I started reading the Bible, I realize what idolatry really meant and it is a sin. So, that day at lunch, it became clear to me that God was telling me to let go.
I am thankful that God gave me these opportunities to heal and finally move on. God gave me closure with both of these two people from my past and things finally seemed to be moving forward. At the time, I felt that this must be a sign that the person God was preparing for me was getting close.
Then one day, I met a guy. So right away there were some things about him that weren’t ideal but nobody is perfect right? I wasn’t sure, so I prayed to God about dating this person. That very same day, this person suddenly called me and told me he had something to tell me. Let’s just say there were some shocking revelations about an ex-girlfriend and a baby….anyways, it’s safe to say that this was a loud and clear “NO” from God.
I know people may think, Well that’s good, you dodged a bullet! But the truth is my actual reaction was, Are you kidding me?! It almost felt like a joke that God had answered with such a swift and dramatic no. Honestly, I was getting really frustrated and impatient! God said He would provide for me, but this just seemed like another major setback.
One month later, one of my best friends asked me to do him a favor; he had created a profile for a dating website and wanted me to look over it to make sure it was presentable. I was hesitant since I hadn’t used that dating website for awhile and my account was deactivated, but I decided to help him out. After reviewing my friend’s profile I tried to close my account but I couldn’t because there was a rule that I had to wait at least a week to do so. I didn’t think too much of it at the time and thought I would simply deactivate my account once the week ended.
But that never happened— it was during this week, this one week, that Kevin messaged me.
From the moment I first saw Kevin’s message, I just felt so strongly about him. I know it sounds strange, and some people even told me I was being ridiculous, but I just had such a strong feeling about him. We messaged back and forth for over a month but he never initiated a meeting in person so I started to have doubts again— I felt strongly about him but I didn’t know if he felt the same way.
Again, I wasn’t sure so I prayed and poured out my heart to God. I told God that even though I felt strongly about Kevin, I was tired of waiting. I needed a sign and I had a deadline in my mind. Well that day came and went, and he did not ask me out on a date. The very next day, as I tried to contain my disappointment, I got a surprising message from Kevin in the middle of the day: he asked me out for not only one, but two dates. The first date is always a little awkward so I want to give us a second chance too, he reasoned.
I’ll admit that this line floored me. But I was even more in awe of God’s timing; God did not work on my timeline, but that didn’t mean He was not at work. God always had in mind the very best for me, and though I doubted Him along the way, He never settled to give me anything less than the person He had reserved for me.
I am thankful for the life partner that God has provided me in Kevin and together we are striving everyday to glorify God in our love, respect, and support for each other. We are now entering our fourth year of marriage and we have a 14-month-old son Isaac, another amazing blessing from God.
When reflecting back on my faith journey, I’ve come to realize that the “someone special” God was preparing during the many years of struggle and waiting wasn’t just Kevin, it was me.
Though I was just an ordinary girl who was lost, confused, tired of the clubbing life, and frustrated with my singleness, God deemed me special enough to pursue me through all of these countless miracles and powerful answer to prayers. In God I found true love, and ever since then He has been changing my heart, giving me a new outlook on life, and growing me more into the person He intends for me to be.
Susan H
Passionate Social Worker/ Psychotherapist in NYC
https://www.susanchunglcsw.com/