God Was Preparing Someone Special (Part II)
The second time God told me not to worry about my marriage was during a turning point in my faith journey.
After a year-long, unsuccessful job hunt in northern California, I felt very discouraged and hopeless. I’d gotten an interview at my dream job, but was turned down before the interview was even officially over.
Months later, I was finally making ends meet with two part-time jobs. Then, within the span of a single week, I lost both jobs. On Monday of that week, I was fired from one job and two days later, I was told by the director of my other job that the program had lost its funding and would be shutting down. I couldn’t believe it, I went from two jobs to none in three days.
But, on Friday of that same week, something miraculous happened. The dream job that I had interviewed for but was initially turned away from, contacted me with another position! It was one of the craziest weeks of my life, losing two jobs and then getting my dream job all within the same week!
During that time, a girl I’d met at a friend’s dinner party texted me out of the blue and invited me to join a Bible study. I felt something divine was going on in my life and I didn’t know how to explain it, so I just couldn’t say no. The Bible study turned out to be very intense. There was a lot of pressure and we were quizzed on what we read and learned. It was difficult for me in the beginning but before long, I completely fell in love with His words.
When I opened the Bible, it felt like magic. These words, written thousands of years ago seemed to come alive to me. And not only did it feel alive, but it was relevant to my life. The word of God felt so personal.
Philippians 4:12-13 especially stood out to me when I thought about the twists and turns that I’d experienced, “I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”
I was also particularly struck by the passages that would describe Jesus hanging out with prostitutes and tax collectors saying, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." (Mark 2:17)
I began to consider following Christ and getting baptized, but I learned some unsettling things about the church I was attending and it became clear that I had to leave. It was a struggle because I was unsure where to go from there. For two years I had studied the Bible and I knew I couldn’t go back to my Buddhist ways, but I also didn’t know how to move forward. There was a battle in my heart because I wanted to follow Jesus but I also worried about how my parents would react if I told them I had become a Christian.
The turning point came one day when I visited another church with a friend and she introduced me to a pastor’s wife who was spiritually gifted in prayer. The first time we met, she offered to pray for me and told me afterwards, “God is asking you, ‘Why can’t you just follow Me? Why are you going back and forth? Just follow Me.’” It really cut me to the heart because it was so true; I was in spiritual limbo, wavering back and forth whether to follow Jesus or not. A few weeks later when she prayed for me again she told me that God had another message, “Don’t worry about your marriage” she said, “God said He will provide for you, don’t worry.”
Don’t worry. These very words echoed the first message I had received years ago when I was feeling so lost. God spoke to me directly through a girl I met at church that day and God was speaking to me again. Even before I knew God, He knew me. He had proven Himself to me over and over. He heard all my prayers and knew all my needs and struggles— from my job, to my family, and even my future marriage.
This was a God I can trust.
So, on 5/20, which is a day for celebrating love because in Chinese the sound of the numbers “five, two, zero” is pronounced similarly to “I love you”, I got baptized to declare my love for Jesus.
I struggled with dating and relationships for a long time, but ever since that moment I felt a new strength. By trusting God, that He will provide, I started to enjoy myself more and enjoy life more. I could not deny the fact that I was still really hoping to find someone and even though I didn’t know when, where, or who, I had a newfound confidence and peace that God will provide.
Susan H
Passionate Social Worker/ Psychotherapist in NYC
https://www.susanchunglcsw.com/